


Rhinehart

by SlaveToGravity



Series: The joy of experimentation - Joshler - [4]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Death, Dices, French, Graphic, M/M, Rape, Rhinehart, Triggers, Twelve personalities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 21:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11090442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlaveToGravity/pseuds/SlaveToGravity
Summary: The two dices rolled and rolled and rolled on the table. And when they finally stopped, Tyler looked at the two faces excitedly.Today, Tyler will be someone else.Tomorrow, Josh will avoid him at all cost.And again, Tyler won't understand why.





	Rhinehart

          The first time he threw the dices, he felt nothing. No pleasure, no confusion, absolutely nothing. He just felt like playing a role, a fool he wasn’t, he shouldn’t be. But he looked at the dices anyway, black and blue dices, with neon dots on every face, every personality he could get. He watched them roll, roll, roll, again and again, never stopping, putting suspense on shoulders and wander in his mind. And, as the dices both finally stopped, he eyes the two sides of the two dices facing the ceiling of the bus. He suddenly felt excitement build inside his being. He smiled and played his role.

_Two – The french teacher._

          English became obsolete as he started to speak a language he never learned. Every word came floating in his mind like a dictionary being thrown at his face and he looked at Josh with a firm face, a strict look.

“Rangez votre portable,” he firmly ordered, no accent in his voice. Josh looked up from his phone, surprise covering his tired eyes.  
“Tyler ? That’s so cool, I didn’t know you could speak french.”  
“J’ai dit Silence,’ Tyler ordered again. “Et donnez moi votre télèphone tout de suite, Dun.”  
“Tyler ? What the...” Tyler took his phone from his hands and threw it at the other side of the couch. Josh whined, Tyler cut him again.  
“Vous êtes ici pour apprendre, pas pour parler. Maintenant silence, et ne prenez la parole que pour vous exprimer de manière utile et intelligente.”

          Josh looked sheepishly at Tyler, not understanding a single word. He sat down and heard Tyler talk in a foreign language he couldn’t understand, still scared at his outburst. He waited for hours and hours before finally walking out, away from this Tyler he couldn’t recognize. He avoided him the next day, Tyler not understanding why.

_Three – The drug dealer._

          When, one day, Tyler showed up with a coat Josh couldn’t recognize, Josh started to walk away, fearing the disgusting look of suspicion on Tyler’s traits. He seemed darker, an expression of mischief and doubt he never had on his covered face. If there were one thing he never wears, it was snap backs. Tyler followed him and, finally watching him, he pushed Josh aside, where no one could see them. He took a little transparent bag out of his pocket and put it on Josh’s sweating palms. He whispered :

“Do you have money on you ? Did the cops follow you ?”  
“Wha- What are you talking about, Tyler ? And is it weed ? What the heck ?”

          Josh threw the little bag, letting every portion of what looked like grass spread on the ground. Tyler cursed, colorful palette of words escaping his mouth. A look of anger painted his tan face. Josh didn’t think twice before running away, avoiding Tyler again the next day. Once again, Tyler couldn’t understand why. Josh searched secretly for any trace of drugs in Tyler’s bags, but nothing was there. Josh wondered if he dreamed this day.

_Four – The nurse._

          Tyler ran to Josh, a look of concern in his adamant eyes. They were at a venue, it was early morning, they were all so, so tired. Josh, repairing his drums, looked at Tyler from afar, starting to worry. Tyler caught him and, taking his wrists, he shushed Josh and felt his heartbeat.

“Everything’s alright, Josh ?”  
“Ye- Yeah, I think.”  
“You’re tired, you should take a nap, rest for a while.”  
“Tyler, seriously, stop that, would you ?”  
“I’m only taking care of you. Come on, you need some sleep.”

          Tyler took Josh’s calloused hands and led him to their shared dressing room. He kindly pushed Josh on the leather couch and forced him to close his eyes, soothing him, stroking his hair. Josh, feeling comfortable for once, started to close his eyes. He eyed Tyler before falling asleep, looking through his squinted eyes at the white and red name tag on his chest. Sarah.  
          When Josh searched for the name tag the next day, he found nothing. Instead, he found two dices, black and blue, shining under his phone’s flashlight. He asked Tyler but Tyler, once again, didn’t understand what Josh was talking about.

_Five – The thief._

          Tyler took everything. Phone, charger, money, jewels, even nail polish and clothes from Josh’s bags. He took everything of value and escaped. Josh has tried to stop him when he saw the tall man running away, face covered, wearing only black, but Tyler ran fast, faster than usual, like he did that just yesterday. Josh fell on the ground, whimpering, panting, breathing heavily. He walked back slowly to the tour bus, watching as everyone searched for their own objects. But nothing was left anymore. Josh fell on the couch, crying. Mark walked to him and asked for an explanation, a clue, something. Josh didn’t accuse Tyler, didn’t say a word. He just shook his head, letting his heavy tears fall freely.  
          The next morning, when Tyler entered the tour bus like nothing ever happened, Josh waited for everyone to leave before yelling at him. Tyler, panicking, couldn’t understand why.

_Six – The kindergartner._

          Tyler stroked Josh’s cheeks, lulled him, gave him everything he needed. He talked to him stupidly, treated him like a kid, like Josh wasn’t older than five, maybe four. Josh tried to object, but Tyler wouldn’t listen to him, always telling him he was too young to understand the world the adults lived in. Everything became suddenly too dangerous for Josh in Tyler’s eyes. He didn’t want him to take knives, forks, phones, even scissors alone. And when Josh asked for permission to go to the bathroom, Tyler followed him and waited for him to finish. Josh asked him to go away, started to yell, but it only ended with Tyler forcing Josh to take his pants off before cleaning him. Josh cried from shame and anger before going to bed.  
          The next morning, when Josh woke up, he cried his shame out again. Tyler asked the crying man, worried, why he was feeling was, down, so suddenly. Josh pushed him away before storming out of the room and Tyler, once again, couldn’t understand why.

_Seven – The politician._

          Josh never understood how Tyler was doing to never remember anything happening. He never understood why either. Why was Tyler doing something so stupid ? And what was he doing exactly ? Josh was scared of Tyler being sick again, but with a greater sickness, an illness no one could heal or erase, maybe just hide. But now, how they would heal Tyler, that wasn’t the question he needed an answer to.

“So, Josh,” Tyler insisted, arranging his tie again, tightening its grip around his neck, “do you understand now why you’re not productive enough for our society ?”  
“I’m distracting everyone, getting them away from their jobs, their routine, their pain, for at least one night; I help.”  
“That’s not the question. On a financial question, a chrematistics point of view, you’re a no one. We don’t need intellectuals like you, art doesn’t make stomachs full, it doesn’t give anyone food in their hands nor money in their pockets. That’s being selfish,” Tyler angered, glaring deeply into Josh’s eyes, “you’re being stubborn and stupid, you’re not helping us. We want a better society, one where intellectuals would only work with the government and help the president, one chosen only by philosophers, the population’s smartest minority. This society, based on Plato and Aristotle's essays, is the only utopia possible,” concluded Tyler.

          Josh liked to think that Tyler didn’t mean it, but he can’t help the race his heart was taking. He felt betrayed, lied to, and he suddenly wanted to get away, change everything he’s ever done. But he stopped his train of thoughts and stoop up, pushing this serious Tyler he despised aside, rage in his mind. He yelled at him for hours until he got tired of it. Tyler took everything, never flinching, never blinking. Josh hated it.   
The next day, when Tyler asked him for help, Josh didn’t do anything, only stood by his side. He crossed his arms strictly on his chest.

“Sorry.”  
“About what ?”  
“My job can’t help you. It’s selfish,” Josh walked away. “And I’m being stupid.”

          He didn’t say a word after that. And Tyler didn’t understand why.

_Eight – The homophobic father._

          They yelled. Josh felt offended, too attacked and insulted, feeling naked under Tyler’s insistent glare. Josh shuddered, fear crawling down his side. Tyler forced him to stay, canceling this night’s show. Josh wanted to cry, at first not understanding what was happening. Then, Tyler took him apart, slapped him, ignored him, yelled at him, insulting and blaming him, putting the blame of their fictional family’s shame on his shoulders, on his back, on him entirely, the family he never knew he had until now…? Josh felt, once again, betrayed. All those words, the meanest, the cruelest, resonating in his ears, buzzing in his mind. He can’t take it, he tried to fight back, to yell, too, but Tyler yelled at him even more, starting to hit, beat him like some toy he bought twenty-eight years ago, a toy he never found a way to throw. So Josh locked himself in the bathroom in their shared bus, waiting all night inside for Tyler to change again. His face haunted him, the stern and disgusted look he wore all day spitting at him venom, brewing, hurling his mistakes, how abortion would have been better than this dishonor he had to endure. Josh hated it. He absolutely hated it, despised it. He felt judged, alone, let down for who he was, who he couldn’t help to be.  
          The next day, Josh stayed inside, never eating, never going out of the bathroom. Everyone understood him. Except Tyler. Tyler couldn’t understand why.

_Nine – The loving mother._

          Jordan knocked at the door carefully, looking through the keyhole if Josh was moving, awake. He groaned.

“What ?”  
“Josh, Tyler wants to see you...”  
“I’m not seeing him today either.”  
“Trust me, Josh, you want to see him. That’s… How can I put it into words...”

          Josh moved this time. He opened the door and walked down the narrow aisle of their shared bus. He walked to the leather couch. He gasped, eyes wide opened. Tyler was there, sitting quietly, a blue dress covering his thin body, looking lovingly at Josh. He smiled, proud.

“Josh, how is everything going ? Is everyone taking good care of you ? Everyone misses you at home.”

          Josh stayed silent as Tyler hugged him, his velvet blue dress stroking his knees. He sighed, the perfume on Tyler engulfing his nose, his mind, his souvenirs. He felt young again. They talked all day, waiting for the next one to come. Josh never talked to Tyler that easily those last few weeks. That was a first. It felt strange, surreal almost, but he liked it.  
          The next day, when Josh woke up, he missed the Tyler from yesterday and feared the one of the next. He tried to avoid Tyler, but he couldn’t stop smiling at him. He felt safe, at ease this time. Tyler was happy too, even if he couldn’t understand why.

_Ten – The raper._

          He couldn’t avoid it. Alone, in the dark, it was early morning when he felt someone wake him up firmly, violently covering his mouth, tying him, dragging him outside. He tried to fight, to struggle, to yell for help, but his mind was dizzy from sleep and fear. He felt the cold air of the morning and the burning hands on his hips, his thighs. His clothes were being thrown, removed, his body was being tied, and still no view. Josh couldn’t scream, so he cried, cried so much. It all hurt, hurt more and more and more, his insides were wrecked, his body was soiled, his mind was panicking and his heart was racing. It hurt and he felt ashamed, ashamed of giving, without his consent, his body to some stranger, to someone he didn’t know, didn’t love. He wanted for it to end, begging some kind of God to kill him here, there, without hesitation or pity. But nothing happened. He had to endure the pain, the shame, everything that came with being abused, treated like nothing, raped. There was no other word. Raped.  
          When everything finally ended, he stayed there. Not moving, fearing a new attack. He waited. And instead of help, night came. He stood up, limping, crying, and ran to the bus. He took a shower, emptying his insides. And he took another shower, another one, another one, again and again. He stayed in the clean water, but it turned dirty. So he emptied the small bath and filled it again. Again and      again        and              again             and               again, oveeeer and overrr, until the water was too cold, burning his skin more than cooling and cleaning it. He threw up and washed his mouth. It still felt dirty. He tried to cut his tongue but it hurt too much and the single taste of blood made him throw up again. He crawled to his bunk and, when Tyler smiled at him, Josh gagged. He tried to forget his suspicions, but he couldn’t erase it from his mind. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t dare, fear overtaking him. Shame, disgust, hatred. So, so much. Too much.  
          When, the next day, he didn’t say anything, no one asked because Josh would never talk. And, when Tyler approached Josh, Josh gagged again and ran, threw up and hid. Once again, Tyler didn’t understand why.

_Eleven – God._

          His silhouette felt divine, too bright to be true. Tyler was anything but real. Josh tried to look away, closing his broken heart, his destroyed mind, his betrayed body, but he couldn’t look at anything but Tyler. Tyler, just standing there, with a smile Josh never saw painted on his face. His eyes were looking at everything, shining at every new form, brighter than the sun. Josh stayed there, standing aside Tyler, eyeing him, admiring his presence despite his thoughts barking at him to just run. For the first time in days, he opened his mouth and cried, cried out the tears he was ashamed of. Tyler turned to him and the look on his face shifted to one of concern and love. He walked slowly to Josh, slowing time around him. He hugged Josh, engulfing him in his warm arms. Josh wanted to run away from this man but he just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, feeling relief flooding down his body, stroking his every inch of skin. He hugged back despite his appalling memories and stayed with him all day. He forgot his fear, his shame, his hatred, his sadness. He forgot everything, blinded, and slept in Tyler’s arms that night. He dreamed again.  
          The next morning, when he woke up, he jerked away. Tyler’s figure didn’t shine with light, he wasn’t smiling like yesterday. He stood up and ran to the bathroom. He threw up and stayed there, again, feeling grosser, worst than before. He cried his shame out until no tears could fall anymore. He hit his head against the wall and cut his skin for being so stupid, naive, so fucking naive. God doesn’t exist. And Tyler isn’t God. He bit his lips until they bled. He cursed his self for being so naive. He started to hate his own self. And when Tyler went to knock at the door and Josh insulted him of every word back, Tyler ran to soundcheck alone, not understanding why. Even less when he threw the pair of dices again, at night.

_Twelve – The murderer._

          The day passed with nothing more than usual. Josh breathed slowly, watching around him like the devil would jump on him, tear up his skin, invade his pores. He walked back to the bus and, when no one was there, he sighed. He scratched his neck a little more, draining blood out, dirtying his nails a little more again. He found a cup of some drink on the little kitchen table. A small letter was written by its side. He took the letter and read.

_“For you to feel better,_   
_A sugary cup of water.”_   
_\- Blurry._

          Josh didn’t ask why it was signed by Blurry, but he smiled anyway. He took a sip and sighed, the sugary taste invading his mouth, cooling his throat and mind. He drank the entire drink before putting the empty cup in the sink and going to sleep in his bunk. His sleep felt heavy, painful, without any dream, without any air, without any heartbeat, without anything.  
          The next morning, when Josh didn’t wake up, no one understood until they found a bottle of sleeping pills and an empty cup. They called an ambulance and, just like that, Josh was gone. They all stayed silent. Tyler cried. Then, Tyler found the pair of dices, under his pillow. He smiled. And he finally understood why.

**Author's Note:**

> Hola, how's everything going ?
> 
> I should really work but... I'm so fudging stupid, I don't know what to do. Sorry ma'.
> 
> Anyway, did you like it ? I'll continue "Where the sun isn't allowed" but I'm listening to Gorillaz and My Chemical Romance at the same time, it's kinda distracting me from my original goal (I fudging love "Mama" and "Momentz").
> 
> Anyway again, I'll let you leave. just, I know what I write isn't that good or anything, but please, leave a kudo or a comment if you at least kind of liked it. It would mean the world to me. I'm sorry.
> 
> Sur ce, buh-bye ~


End file.
